When I started dating my husband, Hunter, I knew he would make the best dad (I was right about that!). He wanted children as well, so we began trying a few months after our wedding. My mom had me when she was 45 and my husband is a twin, so I naively assumed that we must be really fertile and getting pregnant would be easy. I had heard so many stories from friends who conceived on their first or second try, so naturally I assumed this would be our reality as well.
I got pregnant at the end of May in 2015 and we were over the moon. It had taken longer than we thought (a whole 5 months... if only I knew then!) but it had happened and we were finally going to be parents.
And then I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. Our world came crashing down on us. It was a terrible summer. I was teaching at the time, so the extra free time did not help my sanity. We knew that miscarriages were common, however, so we decided to start trying again right away. Again, we were told stories of friends who got pregnant their first cycle after having a miscarriage and went on to have healthy pregnancies so we were confident that we would too.
When November rolled around that year, I was tired of tracking cycles and getting my hopes up each month only to be let down when only one line appeared or my period showed up late. We decided that we would take a break and talk to my OB after the holidays to see what we needed to do next. I decided not to take a pregnancy test before my girls trip to Atlanta the first weekend in December (I knew getting a negative would just bum me out and I was used to my cycles being all over the place after my miscarriage). The next weekend I was particularly short tempered with Hunter after my work's Christmas party. He said, "I bet you're pregnant!" I took a pregnancy test that night to show him how un-pregnant I was. Low and behold, the test was positive and I was pregnant with our sweet Sawyer.
Besides some terrifying spotting at the beginning, I had a pretty healthy pregnancy. It was impossible not to be anxious considering our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, but by 12 weeks I was finally able to relax more and allow myself to feel excited.
We moved from Florida to South Carolina in the beginning of the summer in 2016 when I was about 7 months pregnant. My best girl friends were sweet enough to come visit me in July to see our new house and spend sometime together before our little man joined our group. The weekend they were here, I started feeling like I had a bad cold. I was getting headaches and felt like there was something irritating my left eye. My husband even had to come pick me up from our girls lunch and bring me home while they got pedicures. I was bummed to miss out on the fun, but assumed that it was just "one of those things" that you deal with during pregnancy.
Over the next couple of weeks, I couldn't shake the headaches and vision problems. The minor headaches turned into major migraines and my vision got so bad that I could no longer read the TV guide to change the channel. I kept thinking that it must be sinus related and was using eye drops constantly. Everything I read told me that headaches and minor changes to vision were normal during pregnancy, so I tried to brush it off.
I went to Hobby Lobby one day to look for some nursery decorations. As I walked into the store, I felt like I was blinded by the florescent lights. I couldn't see anything on either side of me in the aisles and knew that this was no longer a normal pregnancy symptom. I made an appointment to see an optometrist that week.
Once I saw the optometrist that week, he referred me to an ophthalmologist because my issues were outside of his expertise. He didn't seem overly concerned so I tried not to stress too much. The ophthalmologist got me in right away (being 8+ months pregnant has its perks). My husband drove me to the appointment because I thought they might have to dilate my pupils and, honestly, because I was a little nervous. They did an x-ray on my eyes but didn't find anything concerning. Then
the doctor held up a square paper with a grid on it that was split into 4 sections. It was then that I realized I couldn't see any of the top left corner. I could tell that the doctor was concerned as he stepped out into the hallway to ask two more doctors to examine me. I spent what felt like an eternity in the exam room, and finally he told me that he wasn't sure what was causing the issues, but it could be pregnancy related. He scheduled a repeat exam for the following week.
Hunter looked really nervous as I walked out into the waiting room. I think he probably chalked my headaches and visual disturbances up to pregnancy symptoms before, but after seeing how long the doctor spent with me, we both realized this wasn't as common as we had hoped.
The following week I went back to the ophthalmologist but told Hunter not to take off work to come with me. By this point I figured it would just be another quick exam and I would be sent on my way. Imagine my surprise when after doing another visual fields exam, the doctor wanted me to have an MRI done on my brain. He scheduled an appointment for the very next day.
I can't even remember exactly what I did at this point, but I remember driving home with tears flowing down my face as I gave the news to Hunter over the phone. We were terrified. The next day, he rubbed my leg while, feeling very much like a beached whale at almost 9 months pregnant, I laid on a table to have an MRI done on my brain. (Those are NOT FUN by the way, especially if you are claustrophobic like I am!)
I got the MRI done on a Friday afternoon, and was told I wouldn't have any results until Monday. We knew there wasn't much we could do at that point so we ended up just going to dinner that night and tried not to think about all the "what ifs". I had done my fair share of Web MD'ing but the results were so scary that I had to stop reading them. To our surprise, the ophthalmologist called me around 6pm that day. He was anxious to find out the results and had stopped by the imaging center on his way home. To be honest, most of the conversation is a blur but he told me, "It's the result I was hoping for, the other would have been really bad. You have a pituitary tumor." I was too afraid to ask what else he thought it might have been. Pituitary tumor was scary enough for me.
I saw a neurosurgeon the following week to discuss the results of the MRI. He told us that sometimes the tumors go away on their own after pregnancy, and sometimes they have to be surgically removed. Because I was so far along in my pregnancy, our only option was to wait and see what would happen after I delivered our son. Pituitary tumors can also affect your hormones, but he didn't want to test anything until after I had delivered since pregnancy hormones are already so all over the place. The tumor was pushing on my optic nerve, so he told me he didn't want me in labor for too long for fear that it could make it worse and potentially make me go blind.
He spoke with my OB and she decided that she would feel much safer performing a C-Section, as labor can be unpredictable. Although that certainly wasn't part of my plan (what has been?!), we all agreed it was the best option. She scheduled us to come in on August 15th at 7:30 to prepare to meet our son.
It's hard to believe that all of this happened within a month. I know that all babies are a blessing, but I truly think that Sawyer saved me from losing my mind during this tough time. We were so focused on getting him into this world safely that we didn't have the time or energy to worry as much as we would have otherwise.
I will share the story of his birth and how it lead to where we are now next, but I think this post is long enough!
Your story is amazing! Your strength and wil are unwavering. You an inspiration to all! My prayers are with you! (Florence) 😘
ReplyDelete